The Rantings of a Mad, Irish... Moderate

[Gen Gravy]

Just shy of it, but wow--nearly ten years ago (at least ten years in June), I joined ZaRWoC. Five years ago, though, I just seemingly disappeared. Why? Life. Not a good reason, but I feel that is what happened. It's not like it was some drama or anything like that, that caused me to skulk out of here. And I don't think that does this forum justice--the people I spent so much time talking with, RPing with any kind of justice. In many ways, ZaRWoC shaped the kind of artist and writer that I was, it pushed my creativity to become more adaptable when I roleplayed. While I haven't drawn in a long time (I tried to get into a couple of OTCs on Deviantart, but work got in the way). So here I am, a little irate, a beer in hand, and I think you folks are worth one last rant.

The topic? ZaRWoC and me.

We were a collection of sprite comic authors--for the most part. Christi had her hand-drawn art-work, but the rest of us came from the Drunk Duck community of sprite comic authors--except Silos, I honestly cannot remember how or why he ended up on this board, but I digress. We were a collection of nerdy folk who just genuinely liked having a good time. Honestly, I had NEVER roleplayed before I came to this board. And you know what? I fucking LOVED it. I looked forward to roleplaying when I got home, I would jot notes and brainstorm ideas during class. And it was always so engaging to me. Honestly, some of the most fun I had in highschool were some of the roleplay dialogues I had going with White-Jet and Zaku. Nothing really topped it. I think that roleplay helped me become a better writer, which is why I ended up going to college as an English major. There you go--one direct result of ZaRWoC on my life. You all played a part in the direction my life would eventually take. And the funny part? I ended up joining a sketch comedy troupe while in college as one of their staff writers and -occasional- actor. I feel that, in a way, the roleplay continued to live on in that regard.

I want all of you to know that I enjoyed my time here on the forum with every single one of you. I know that I was an inconsolable prick to some of you at times, but I apologize. To the rest of you, whom I RPed with into the wee hours of the night, I'm sorry for disappearing. White-Jet, I loved RPing with you--in fact, you were my favorite person to RP with and one of the people I personally contribute most of my artistic growth towards. Zaku, I honestly kind of admired you. I always thought you were this sharp, witty guy and kinda felt outpaced by you that caused me to strive for more. Nam, you were that sharp intellectual that I always aspired to be. Kyle, you're the only person that ever made me feel like an OLDER brother--I have three younger brothers, but I you were the only person that ever gave me that feeling. Christi, you were the person that made this all happen--and I was always a little jealous of your artistic ability, so I pushed myself to make it better. And to all the others; Mage, Rob, Cutter, Silos--I still remember, and I still enjoyed my time with you.

When I left, it was around the time that I started college. I just couldn't find the time to come onto the boards--between classes and the sketch comedy troupe I was working with, I just didn't find time to come back here. And thus, the resident RP villain had seemingly disappeared without fanfare, without any word. I still feel a little guilty doing that, as if stories that were meant to be told never got that the chance to come forth, just because I wasn't here. In some ways, I feel partially responsible for the death of this forum. It eats away at me; it shouldn't but it does. Which is why I am writing you all now. It's a curious combination of nostalgia and guilt that is causing me to write this, I can't be too certain that half of you even check this forum anymore. I feel that Kyle still does, as he posted the completion of his comic (congratulations, by the way! I've been following it since about strip #20.) But the rest of you? I'm not too certain. So, I'd like to get in some (more) words to the rest of the influential people whom I encountered on this forum (besides what I've already said about you).

White-Jet--I hope you are still RPing out there somewhere, if not that, I hope you are writing something, -anything-. Out of everyone on this forum, I feel like you were the most skilled writer on this forum.

Zaku--I just wanted to know that you are still creating. Whether it's worlds, stories, or even some Minecraft structure. You were a powerhouse of creativity.

Nam--You were an interesting fellow, you know that? To me, you were always like this neutral entity between myself and Zaku--creatively and personality-wise, and I liked that about you. I honestly hope you sued the shit of Sega when they released "Sonic Boom."

Mage--You were great, and I feel like I never expressed that to you appropriately. I was kind of shitty to you, but for no good reason.

Silos--Speaking of being shitty.. I'm sorry, man. I was note nice to you for no good reason. I apologize. It doesn't mean much now, and honestly, I don't feel like I will ever feel good about the way I talked to you..

Kyle-- I am happy and proud of you, and a little envious. I want you to know that you should always be proud of Soul Symphony, whether it's ten, twenty, or a HUNDRED years from now. You're a good writer, man. I expect A LOT more out of you, bruh.

Christi--Thank you. You are the reason I was able to encounter so many wonderful people. Your art made me strive to be better--it pushed me. I was so used to being the "artist" in my group of friends, and then I'd come online and see something new that you posted and thing, "well, fuck, guess I got to work harder."

To the rest of you? You are still #swag in my book. So with that--my last rant, or unless someone else responds, but I'm not throwing any money down on it. If any of you are still skulking, or show up years later like myself, feel free to reach out to me.

e-mail: [e-mail]

[Christi]

You know, there are times I get a feeling to go check in on zarwoc and see if anyone is still active, and I'm glad I did this time. I imagine we've all moved on with our lives in some way or another and zarwoc is never going to be the active hub that it used to be, but I'm glad to hear things are going well for you. It's nice to know that in some way or another I helped to inspire someone with their path in life.

I haven't done much artwork lately sadly, too much work, too little time. I really should get back into the swing of things though, my little sister is writing a book and wants me to do the cover art for it.

Been through a lot of crap since we were all actively talking to each other, some of which has made me stronger and wiser, and some of which I'm never going to recover from, that's led to a lot of depression and lack of care for life on some occasions. So I guess I should say thank you, you reminded me of all the dreams I used to have but let go of, and really shouldn't have. I'll have to change that.

The same goes for you too, or anyone else reading, don't hesitate to reach out for a chat: [e-mail]

P.S. Your email addy there didn't work for me, I got a message delivery failure.

[Kyle20]

I feel bad that I'm more than a year late to this thread. An artist I follow was asking for anonymous testimonials about online friendships/relationships for a comic she wants to do about it, so I threw my hat in the ring and wrote up my experiences with ZaRWoC. After I wrote it, I figured I'd log back on, and lo and behold people have posted here.

I'm so happy to hear all of these things, Gen. I'm glad to hear you enjoyed the forum as much as I did, and it's cool to hear that you pursued writing and even wrote for a sketch comedy troupe.

I'm also honored [and frankly, emotional] about what you've said about me here. In writing up about ZaRWoC for this artist, I referred to you all as feeling like my "cool older cousins", especially because I've never been close to my cousins in real life. I'm glad that lil ol' me could give you that older brother feeling. And thank you so, so much for your kind words about Soul Symphony.

I hope that everyone here who used to do any sort of art or writing has found some way to continue expressing themselves as a hobby, no matter what that expressing may be.

So happy, and frankly emotional, thinking about this place with nostalgia. Thank you all for being so, so kind and supportive to me even though I was just a kid and my art/writing skills weren't exactly up to snuff at the time.

If you ever want to contact me, Twitter would be an easy way: twitter.com/kylelabriola

[Cutter]

First of all, I'd like to apologize to everyone. I joined this forum as an angry, edgy pre-teen. You can see that clearly in my posts, and I'm deeply ashamed of how much negativity and angst there was in what I wrote.

That being said, the happy memories of this place greatly outweigh the bad. You were all creative and interesting people who inspired me to work harder and pursue my interests. Zarwoc was a one of a kind, close-knit community, and I had a lot of fun ranting and discussing things with you all. Among other things, this forum was a big part of me starting to draw and later doing animation.

I'm not entirely sure what I'm doing with my life, and sometimes I feel kind of lost. But coming back here and reading what others have said reminds me of all the goals I have yet to achieve. This place is like a time capsule.

Jan 12, 2016 23:08:00 GMT -5 Gen Gravy said:

In some ways, I feel partially responsible for the death of this forum. It eats away at me; it shouldn't but it does. Which is why I am writing you all now. It's a curious combination of nostalgia and guilt that is causing me to write this, I can't be too certain that half of you even check this forum anymore.

Gen: I didn't major in English, but I did a similar comedy troupe/acting/writing thing at university. Glad I'm not the only one.

Don't blame yourself for drifting away. Everything comes to an end, and often without closure. All the more reason why it's great that you took the time to write this.

This sort of thing crossed my mind many times over the years. But you actually decided to post something. And now that you have, I wonder why I ever hesitated in the first place.

Feb 22, 2016 17:10:06 GMT -5 Christi said:

Been through a lot of crap since we were all actively talking to each other, some of which has made me stronger and wiser, and some of which I'm never going to recover from, that's led to a lot of depression and lack of care for life on some occasions. So I guess I should say thank you, you reminded me of all the dreams I used to have but let go of, and really shouldn't have. I'll have to change that.

Christi: You brought us all together, and were always a positive influence on the forum. Thank you for following whatever ambition drove you to create your comic. We all changed as a result of that.

You've also said a lot of what I want to say, rather eloquently. I hope that even if life is turbulant, you find a way to follow whatever makes you happy.

Jul 7, 2017 16:35:15 GMT -5 Kyle20 said:

I hope that everyone here who used to do any sort of art or writing has found some way to continue expressing themselves as a hobby, no matter what that expressing may be.

So happy, and frankly emotional, thinking about this place with nostalgia. Thank you all for being so, so kind and supportive to me even though I was just a kid and my art/writing skills weren't exactly up to snuff at the time.

Kyle: I never congratulated you for finishing your comic. Better late than never! I'm really happy that you made it happen, and I can't even begin to imagine how much effort it must have taken.

Good luck with all of your creative projects. I'll be rooting for you.

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To everyone else, I hope that you're doing well wherever you are in life. Thanks for all the good times, and feel free to contact me if you'd like to catch up:
[e-mail]