Post by Gen Gravy on Oct 10, 2005 14:33:19 GMT -5
This will contain some explicit shit. Dis be a warning.
This is a test to see if you are Gravy enough to be like me. Everyone's favorite Mad Irish Joke-Making Republican.
1. A fat guy just bumped into you, and made you spill all your soda all over yourself in front of your friends.
Do you:
a) Ask the person to apologize kindly.
b) Make light of the situation with your friends.
c) Make the person pay for your shirt, and be rude to him.
d) Walk up to the fat fuck and make him pay for it.
2. Your best friend slept with your longtime girlfriend/boyfriend.
Do you:
a) Forgive them, accidents can happen.
b) Leave your girlfriend/boyfriend, and yell out your best friend.
c) Make a big deal outta it, and insult the two for betraying your trust.
d) Stick your friend's face in a belt sander.
3. You find a wallet on the ground, it holds two-hundred dollars. There are no signs of identification of the owner in the wallet.
Do you:
a) Bring it to the police, and if the owner isn't found you donate it to a charity.
b) Bring it to the police, and if the owner isn't found you keep it.
c) Take some of the money and bring it to the police.
d) Keep the money, the owner must be jacked so he won't miss a couple of dollars...
4. Your friend stole a copy of the test with all the answers. You didn't study for the test, and he wants to share it with you.
Do you:
a) Don't accept the offer, and tell the teacher that he stole it.
b) Don't accept the offer, and not tell the teacher.
c) Accept his offer.
d) Accept the offer, and tell the teacher afterward that he cheated.
5. You are Catholic, and your church is having a mandatory session for people of your age group who are still in religious education. Your friends are going to a movie at the same time as the session.
Do you:
a) Go to the session, and pay attention vigorously.
b) Go to the session, but zone out the whole time.
c) Go to part of the session and sneak to the movies.
d) Blow off the retarded session. You know enough about Jesus and friends.
6. It's April's Fools Day, and your friends want to play a simple and funny prank on this bitchy know-it-all girl, to get back at her for all the times she showed them up. They tell you what they want to do.
Do you:
a) Decline the offer and tell the girl what they are planning.
b) Decline the offer, you don't want to get in trouble.
c) Join in on the festivities.
d) Come up with a better plan involving Enzyte.
7. A man just broke into your house. He holds a gun to your face, and he looks like he's having an idea that you won't like. A metal baseball bat is under your bed from a game of ''Beat the Crap Out of the Asshole Neighbor's Car''. There is a phone in the next room.
Do you:
a) Sit there paralyzed in fear.
b) Scream for help.
c) Make a run for the phone.
d) Reach for the bat, and beat the sick fuck senseless.
8. Your church wants you to practice abstinence. They say that sex before marriage is sinful, and you will go to hell.
Do you:
a) Listen to them. Hell is a nasty place.
b) Listen to them, but have a sense of doubt whether or not God cares about what we do in bed and when.
c) Do not listen to them.
d) Tell them to kiss your ass, because shit happens and we cannot control everything that goes on.
9. Your neighbor just let his dog defecate into your lawn, and even stood by and watched.
Do you:
a) Ask them nicely to pick up their dog's waste.
b) Pick it up yourself and dispose of it in the woods.
c) Pick it up and toss it into his lawn.
d) Break out today's newspaper, and take a shit on his lawn while reading 'Dilbert'. Then wipe your ass with his mail.
10. Your teacher announces that out of her seven classes, you scored the highest on the final exam.
Do you:
a) Act shy and modest.
b) Feel a sense of pride and gloat lightly.
c) Feel your ego and pride burst and gloat highly.
d) Go overboard, and declare yourself as the best that there ever was, and that you were so perfect you were better than Jesus, Buddha, Moses, and Shiva put together.
Scoring (Giggidy-Giggidy-Giggidy!):
A= 0
B= 1
C= 2
D= 3
0-8: You are as maniacal as a box of sleepy kittens. Try to grow a mean bone. You also show some tattle-tale and backstabbing qualities...
Gravy Level: Pansy
9-16: You are perfectly sane and not considered much of a menace to society. You are like any other average person out there. But will most likely die a virgin. (Just kidding
)
Gravy Level: Average Jim
17-23: You wish you were as evil as me. You have some aspects of my better qualities, but don't cut the cake quite as well as Gravy.
Gravy Level: Gravyling
24-30: You got some balls! You make Gravy proud! You are a greedy asshole with a super-ego! If you want an award, go fuck yourself. Come on, you of all people should know that was coming.
Gravy Level: Bad-Ass Mofo
This is a test to see if you are Gravy enough to be like me. Everyone's favorite Mad Irish Joke-Making Republican.
1. A fat guy just bumped into you, and made you spill all your soda all over yourself in front of your friends.
Do you:
a) Ask the person to apologize kindly.
b) Make light of the situation with your friends.
c) Make the person pay for your shirt, and be rude to him.
d) Walk up to the fat fuck and make him pay for it.
2. Your best friend slept with your longtime girlfriend/boyfriend.
Do you:
a) Forgive them, accidents can happen.
b) Leave your girlfriend/boyfriend, and yell out your best friend.
c) Make a big deal outta it, and insult the two for betraying your trust.
d) Stick your friend's face in a belt sander.
3. You find a wallet on the ground, it holds two-hundred dollars. There are no signs of identification of the owner in the wallet.
Do you:
a) Bring it to the police, and if the owner isn't found you donate it to a charity.
b) Bring it to the police, and if the owner isn't found you keep it.
c) Take some of the money and bring it to the police.
d) Keep the money, the owner must be jacked so he won't miss a couple of dollars...
4. Your friend stole a copy of the test with all the answers. You didn't study for the test, and he wants to share it with you.
Do you:
a) Don't accept the offer, and tell the teacher that he stole it.
b) Don't accept the offer, and not tell the teacher.
c) Accept his offer.
d) Accept the offer, and tell the teacher afterward that he cheated.
5. You are Catholic, and your church is having a mandatory session for people of your age group who are still in religious education. Your friends are going to a movie at the same time as the session.
Do you:
a) Go to the session, and pay attention vigorously.
b) Go to the session, but zone out the whole time.
c) Go to part of the session and sneak to the movies.
d) Blow off the retarded session. You know enough about Jesus and friends.
6. It's April's Fools Day, and your friends want to play a simple and funny prank on this bitchy know-it-all girl, to get back at her for all the times she showed them up. They tell you what they want to do.
Do you:
a) Decline the offer and tell the girl what they are planning.
b) Decline the offer, you don't want to get in trouble.
c) Join in on the festivities.
d) Come up with a better plan involving Enzyte.
7. A man just broke into your house. He holds a gun to your face, and he looks like he's having an idea that you won't like. A metal baseball bat is under your bed from a game of ''Beat the Crap Out of the Asshole Neighbor's Car''. There is a phone in the next room.
Do you:
a) Sit there paralyzed in fear.
b) Scream for help.
c) Make a run for the phone.
d) Reach for the bat, and beat the sick fuck senseless.
8. Your church wants you to practice abstinence. They say that sex before marriage is sinful, and you will go to hell.
Do you:
a) Listen to them. Hell is a nasty place.
b) Listen to them, but have a sense of doubt whether or not God cares about what we do in bed and when.
c) Do not listen to them.
d) Tell them to kiss your ass, because shit happens and we cannot control everything that goes on.
9. Your neighbor just let his dog defecate into your lawn, and even stood by and watched.
Do you:
a) Ask them nicely to pick up their dog's waste.
b) Pick it up yourself and dispose of it in the woods.
c) Pick it up and toss it into his lawn.
d) Break out today's newspaper, and take a shit on his lawn while reading 'Dilbert'. Then wipe your ass with his mail.
10. Your teacher announces that out of her seven classes, you scored the highest on the final exam.
Do you:
a) Act shy and modest.
b) Feel a sense of pride and gloat lightly.
c) Feel your ego and pride burst and gloat highly.
d) Go overboard, and declare yourself as the best that there ever was, and that you were so perfect you were better than Jesus, Buddha, Moses, and Shiva put together.
Scoring (Giggidy-Giggidy-Giggidy!):
A= 0
B= 1
C= 2
D= 3
0-8: You are as maniacal as a box of sleepy kittens. Try to grow a mean bone. You also show some tattle-tale and backstabbing qualities...
Gravy Level: Pansy
9-16: You are perfectly sane and not considered much of a menace to society. You are like any other average person out there. But will most likely die a virgin. (Just kidding
)Gravy Level: Average Jim
17-23: You wish you were as evil as me. You have some aspects of my better qualities, but don't cut the cake quite as well as Gravy.
Gravy Level: Gravyling
24-30: You got some balls! You make Gravy proud! You are a greedy asshole with a super-ego! If you want an award, go fuck yourself. Come on, you of all people should know that was coming.
Gravy Level: Bad-Ass Mofo
